The Eight Stages Of Any Night Out

We all go through them.

The Hangover
There’s a formula to every night out, the same set of occurrences we all go through when embarking on our jolly outings.

These are the eight stages you will, without fail, face at some point…


“Not tonight guys, saving my money” Who do you think you’re kidding? The ring of “Just have a big pre-drinks” sounds out and you’re mind is quickly changed.


Quickly follows the change of mind, do you even really want to go out? Imagine how fresh you could be in the morning, imagine all the things you could achieve?

All in

If You’re doing this, you’re doing it properly. A bottle of wine is an adequate pre-night out beverage right?

The Taxi

“Can I bring this in mate? I won’t spill any!” Ten minutes prior to hiding the fact you’ve just spilled Strongbow all over the back seat.

The Queue

You’ve come this far, keep it together.

The Club

You spend most time queuing at the bar, in the smoking shelter or wondering why you’ve even bothered coming out. Pre drinks were better.

Refusing To Let Go

“Yeah we’ll have a few drinks at ours, come on it’ll be good” It’s over mate, just leave it.


No one is coming back, everywhere is shut, it’s just you and your kebab and it’s time for bed. Until next week.


Up next: Student Problems’ Nightmare Flatmates: Volume 11


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